How to start a commune: what real communities say was hard

October 30, 2026

To start a commune, begin small: a few people who share a clear purpose and who write down how they will decide things, share money and handle conflict before anyone signs a lease or buys land. The people who support new communities say the hard part is not land or money. It is relationships, agreements and governance, and most new groups underestimate all three. You can test the idea this week with a recurring meal, long before you commit to a house.

What a commune or intentional community is

The Foundation for Intentional Community (FIC) defines intentional community as "the radical notion that how we live ought to be based on our values." In its Communities Directory, a community is "a residential project: people live here as their primary home." That covers a lot of ground. Some are shared households in one house. Some are neighbourhoods where each family has its own home and people share meals and meetings. Some are rural, land-based groups that farm together. Some, like Twin Oaks in Virginia, share income. Twin Oaks has existed since 1967 and says it is governed "by a form of democracy," with "responsibility shared among various managers, planners, and committees."

"Commune" usually means the deeper end of this range: shared money, shared work. Most new groups start closer to the shallow end.

The steps, in the order people say they matter

I found no single official recipe, so this is built from what the FIC's writers say.

1. Name the shared purpose. Write it in a sentence everyone can repeat, so you can tell later whether a decision fits it.
2. Start with a small core group. Sky Blue, writing for the FIC, says these problems are more common when groups move quickly or when "one or two people with a vision" lead. Their advice is to "build community while you're building the community": spend time together before you spend money together.
3. Agree how you decide. Sky Blue names decision-making and governance as core areas that need more support. Choose a method (consensus, voting, delegated roles) and write it down while everyone still gets along.
4. Agree how money works. Sky Blue says groups "grossly underestimate" business and finance and focus on the residential side. Decide who pays what, what a member owes, and what happens to their share if they leave.
5. Find the land or house. This comes after steps 1 to 4, not before. Sky Blue notes that landowners with money often keep financial and legal control, and that this carries over into decision-making and deters people who might join.
6. Pick a legal structure. Property and capital can be held collectively, and the post mentions the Permanent Real Estate Cooperative, then being developed by the Sustainable Economies Law Center, as one tool. Which structure fits depends on where you live, so talk to a local lawyer. This article is not legal advice.

Why many fail

Plainly: people. The FIC's conflict course, taught by the facilitator Laird Schaub, says "failure to prepare for conflict is one of the big reasons intentional communities struggle and eventually fail." Sky Blue lists relationship building, clear agreements, governance and conflict resolution as the worries that most groups underrate.

Money is the second trap. Sky Blue writes that founders may fear losing everything if it fails, so they hold on to control, and that this deters possible members.

Leadership is the third: the same post points at groups led by "one or two people with a vision." Burnout is my inference from that, not something these sources measure. I did not find a reliable percentage for how many new communities fail. Figures you may see online are repeated without data, so I left them out.

Living this way is also work. Twin Oaks says members work 38.5 hours a week in the community's businesses and domestic areas, and in return get housing, food and healthcare. We covered that in how to live a simple life.

What you can do this week

You do not need land to learn whether you can do this with other people.

1. Start a weekly shared meal. Ask two or three neighbours or friends for the same evening every week. Rotate who cooks. This is a small version of step 3: you will find out how a group decides what to eat and who does the dishes.
2. Open a group chat for the people who say yes, and agree on one shared job.
3. Write down one agreement. For example: who hosts, and what happens if someone cannot come.
4. Visit an existing community. The FIC's directory lists communities, and its "Open to visitors" filter marks which ones accept guests. Twin Oaks runs a structured three-week visitor program, arranged in advance with a member as host.
5. Keep it going for two months before you talk about moving in together.

For why a recurring table matters, see why tribes don't get lonely.

Related

• How to make friends as an adult covers the first step: finding the first two or three people.
• How every third place died explains why the places where neighbours met have disappeared.
• Why tribes don't get lonely is the film behind this site's interest in close communities.
• All films, and what this site is for on the mission page.

Sources

1. Foundation for Intentional Community, Glossary: Intentional Community (definition) and Communities Directory (community definition, "Open to visitors" filter)
2. Sky Blue, Intentional Communities: How do we grow this movement fast?, Foundation for Intentional Community, October 19, 2017
3. Foundation for Intentional Community, Working with Conflict in Community (course by Laird Schaub)
4. Twin Oaks Community, home page (governance, visitor program, history since 1967)

This article reports what these sources say. The weekly steps are practical suggestions, not research findings. Nothing here is legal, financial or medical advice.